Strategy Sessions

STRATEGY SESSIONS

For most, if not for both people in a relationship, but certainly one, divorce has been a lingering idea long before anyone mentioned the ‘D’ word. But emotional preparation often gets mistaken for the ‘only preparation’. And we couldn’t agree more. Getting to this stage has taken immense courage, bravery and a willingness to step away from an unhappy situation, towards a healthier, and happier future.

At the Divorce and Separation Hub, we provide practical solutions for divorce preparation. No, we don’t want to pretende the emotions aren’t there because we know that once, you loved this person and saw a future together with each for many years to come. You created a family with this person, built a home, acquired assets, and formed a lifestyle that once worked.

This is a big hill to climb, and why should you go it alone if you don’t need to. Our Divorce Strategy Sessions have been designed to ‘design your divorce’. As coaches and strategists, structure, preparation and understanding the steps, can buffer the days where it can feel all too much. We work with our clients, to tailor a strategy that works for you, and your set of circumstances.

How we like to create a divorce strategy.

There are a number of things to consider when creating a divorce strategy. Each situation is unique, so not everything applies equally to every client we see. Your strategy depends on many factors, such as the length of your marriage, whether or not you have children, financial and employment status, and other varying needs.

Our experience has proved that a strategy outline is key in preparing for that big announcement, and caring for your needs and heart in the process.

1. Prepare ahead of time

2. Get a grasp of the law

Sadly, divorce shouldn’t come as a shock for you, your partner and even those close to you. People often consider it for a long time before they formally exit the relationship. And in many cases, this is a wise move. Unless in an abusive relationship, in which case, we would encourage an immediate removal from the house if possible. But this is a life-changing decision, and administration is key: understand your financial position in the relationship, your contributions, assets, property stakes, seek advice from a family lawyer (referred by a friend or family member you trust is always best), and calculate, ‘what do you need from the separation agreement?’

Australian law regulating divorce can vary from state to state. Adding a complex glossary of legal terms regarding these laws can seem overwhelming at first. But once you start to map out and understand the laws within your jurisdiction, the legal language will become easier to understand. It’s going to save you time, money and vital emotions if you don’t get a decent understanding when it comes to property law and child custody entitlements. . In fact, not knowing can cost you when it comes to child custody, spousal support, and other areas.

3. Get familiar with your finances

4. Prep, prep, and more prep

Separation often costs quite a bit of money, which probably doesn’t come as a surprise to most, but still adds additional stress to an already incredibly stressful process. But it’s so important, that whilst this divorce might cost you unfairly, and your savings take a dent, doing a divorce right, can actually help you out in the future, bigtime! Whether we’re talking about a simple, do-it-yourself split or in front of a judge, there are expenses at every turn. Even just filing the paperwork comes with a fee. Whilst we cannot advise you legally, we can help you prepare for what’s to come.

The irony is in life, the times that we feel so crushed, are the times that we need to be organised more than ever. You might be the do-er, the fixer, and nailing your divorce spreadsheet, but finding order is not so easy. Are you good at project management, as there will be no greater project in your life, than this one. But with the right perspective, and administration know-how, preparation is going to be your best friend.

5. Find everything out about your finances.

6. Creating a strategy for you is also creating a strategy for your children.

Flowing on from point number 3, finding everything out about your finances is one of the most important stages in your divorce strategy. On one hand, if you shared your finances that could be a bonus for an equal split, but this can actually cause massive delays. Conversely, if you have little control of the money, its likely that your entitlements could be greater than you realised. Be savvy, discreet and record what you understand to be your current financial status. Understanding your finances is a significant part of creating a divorce strategy.

Divorce really can be a family breakup. But we don’t want it to be. You may have ended your relationship with your spouse, but neither of you are planning on ending one with your children. We encourage you to read our Parenting Coordination Coaching service, where we delve deeper into everything from parenting plans, coaching sessions and how to navigate a breakup when children are involved.

7. Creating a support network

8. Finding a family lawyer

It is so important that you find a person or people you trust. Attempting to prepare and go through a divorce, if avoided, should never be alone. This might be one of the biggest challenges of your life, and with so much to handle, doing it solo is not one of them. Think about a person who is calm, collected, and hate-free. Right now, you want someone to support you, but not feed you unhelpful emotions. Ideally, your support network will be impartial if mutual family friends, or someone who is closer to you, than your spouse. Whoever you choose, trust them. You don’t have to go this alone, and we are here for you too!

Shopping for a lawyer is big business. With so many legal firms popping up in your local area, it’s hard to know who you should engage to represent you in your divorce. You will be led by your budget, reviews and hopefully, referrals. Depending on your financial status, and your current relationship with your ex, the legal representative you choose, is managing emotions believe it or not. In your initial consultations, share as much information as you can, and listen to their advice and feedback. Consider their communication with you? Are they laxed in returning emails, and offering you advice and options that suit your needs, or one liners until you pay your fees? And lastly, never get railroaded into agreements. This is not the time for haste. Despite you wanting to run out of this situation a million miles, hold your nerve for the long run.

9. Start seeing a happier horizon

10. The Divorce and Separation Hub

You are doing this because you are no longer happy in your marriage. You are making this choice for the benefit, and not punishment to your family. Plan what your future looks like? Expand on your ambitions and dreams? Feel the freedom that this divorce is creating. Look forward, and don’t hang around in the past for any longer than you need to. This happiness is yours for the taking.

We couldn’t let you get this far without saying that we can be part of your divoce strategy. Why? Because you don’t need to do this alone. Everything that you have just read, is why we do what we do. This world is our world and you are no longer alone. We want to help you in all matters of your divorce and the one thing we have learnt is, doing big things solo is a strategy we don’t back. Reach out today, and let’s get that happy future in full swing.